Home. Very nice. Two days in the hospital is all I can take. When I was first diagnosed, I spent a fair amount time in the hospital. Sometimes for a week or more at a time. That was a killer on my mental state. After a few days, I'd start to wonder if I could rustle up some drugs that would let me just call it quits. This latest stay was actually. I felt fine, it was just a precautionary stay, given the chance of a reaction to the new drug. I stayed somewhere I haven't been before. A smaller place than my normal spot. Nurse were great, you get much more personal attention. That made the stay easy.
Yesterday, no reaction. It really is a one time thing. But I was loaded with various drugs. Demerol, benedryl, dexamethasone, and Ativan. That's a lot.
As I said I got a some really nice messages and calls from my Kilimanjaro family. And that's what they are. We are connected forever. Despite my worries about being able to do the climb, I am more focused on it than ever. I have to do it. I'm going to give my body a rest for a few days, then I'll be back at the training. The nice thing is I have zero body pains. Maybe my body needed the rest. I think I'm a retaining a bit of liquid. I haven't been eating much but I packed on a few pounds in one day, just out of the blue. Weird.
Today is a rest day. Not sure about going to work tomorrow. I'm trying to conserve my time off, so nut sure what to do.
My mental state today is meh, so-so. I think I'm coming down from all the drugs. I'm wondering what next. Ok I have an 8 month program ahead of me. And then? And what about today and tomorrow and the next day? Getting out of site sounds good. No people, no stress. Just Matt time, living quietly and anonymously.
This will pass. Depression can be a side effect of Dara. And I always get the post dex crash. So I got this, just need a day to process it all. Thanks for all the support.
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