Round and round we go..until we don't

It's my off week from chemo. I'm in the middle of a cycle. Blood counts are good. No Procrit shot this week. I feel good. As I approach 5 years, I think I forget about the severity my disease. Well, maybe forget isn't the right word. Perhaps I ignore it.  I did have a couple of reminders this week about what myeloma really is. 

Pat posted this morning about a good friend of his who died this week from myeloma. His post is worth reading. Sara, his friend, was strong to the end. http://multiplemyelomablog.com/2016/01/rest-in-peace-dearest-sara.html

Also this week, Andy, who is someone I've never met, went into hospice this week. While I have never met Andy I feel like I know him and his wife and their journey and pain via facebook. Andy's wife has consistently posted about Andy's condition...both in good times and sad times.  Andy is young, has two young kids and has been fighting mightily. The myeloma just became too powerful.  It's really a heartbreaking story.

For some reason, early this week I decided to read some of my older posts from 2 or 3 years ago. Interesting but not interesting. My posts aren't much different than they are now. Chemo, working, trying to figure out the meaning of all this. It's frustrating and I get angry at myself. I shouldn't be writing the same things today as I was then. I mean, the good news is I'm alive and doing remarkably well. But it's also maddening in that I should doing more to embrace life, that every day I ought to be celebrating everything. But I'm not sure I am. As we start the new year, I'm going to work extra hard on this.

I have a few links to share as well:

First up is a short article from Cure Magazine by a woman about her challenge of living with a terminal disease.  http://www.curetoday.com/community/linnea-olson/2016/01/living-with-terminal-cancer

Next is a story from nbcnews about the financial hardships many people face as they deal with their cancer. http://www.nbcnews.com/health/cancer/debt-bankruptcy-are-rewards-cancer-survivors-n490896

Last an article about how to find a career with meaning.  http://idealistcareers.org/4-distinctions-explore-building-meaningful-career/