Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Hit the Wall
It's been a while since I've wrote anything substantial. Just haven't been feeling it. There's nothing really noteworthy with my myeloma. But noteworthy is a relative term. And that's the thing with myeloma. Nothing going on doesn't mean we're kicking back worry free. In the past two months, I had a nasty cold that verged on pneumonia and hospitalization. We beat that back, avoiding the hospital, after finding an awesome pulminologist. I'd be lying if I said I didn't spend one night in bed wondering if that was my week to die. Then I lost a good friend to myeloma. Brad passing away is a tough one to move on from. Then I've had an achy back for a couple of weeks. Normally we'd let it go. But given I have myeloma, I've had to do a full body skeletal survey and bone density test. This Saturday is an MRI. Mind you, I'm claustrophobic, so this should be interesting. Also note, that my myeloma impacts my kidneys, I haven't had any bone involvement but the question is has my myeloma morphed into something else. Berenson thinks no and that doing bone surveys, etc is unnecessary. Phan on the other hand says we need to err on the side of caution. I am guessing it's nothing but we gotta rule bone issues out. And then this week I've been tired as all hell. It's a tired that is similar to the tired I was feeling right before I was diagnosed. So I'm thinking, ah shit, time to get off maintenance and attack the myeloma with one of the new drugs. But we did my full myeloma labs this week and all my numbers remain stable. That's good. However I am hugely anemic, almost anemic enough to warrant a transfusion. I haven't had one of those in two years. Instead, yesterday I got a Procrit shot to bring my hemoglobin up. And through all this, I'm working full time, working out, crushing it and living life. Easy? Heck no.
The summary: I'm still on maintenance, everything remains routine. A new cycle of maintenance starts next week. All is good. But it's been a scary, nerve wracking, emotional, wall hitting month or two.
And that's myeloma. It never totally goes away. Every day, every week, every month is a challenge and a victory.
THE SWIMMER A SHORT FILM ABOUT THE POWER OF RITUAL from Blaise Hayward on Vimeo .