Purpose and Motivation

Caveat. This post is written after 2.5 beers.  Tomorrow is day 1 of my latest maintenance cycle. My most recent numbers were excellent. After nearly 43 months, we've got this myeloma thing under control.  It can change at any time. Or it can not change. It's a mystery.  A mystery that we all face.  As I've written before, the mental part of this is the biggest challenge for me.  I spend way too much time pondering how I got here, where I'm going and asking what the heck is my purpose.  Meaning, meaning, meaning. 

I'm over my pity party from the other day.  How? By looking forward. By telling myself I'm resilient.  Leslie stepped up big time with her dad and again impressed me with her ability to make things work.  She did that with me when I was first diagnosed and it was touch & go.  Looking at things from her perspective, it must be frustrating to go from caregiver role to caregiver role.  When does she get to take care of herself?  I'm hoping I can get her to write a post for this blog.  My fellow patients would probably all agree that myeloma/cancer might be tougher on the caregiver than on the patient.  They're trying to save their loved one, while also trying not to think of what they'd do if their loved one were to die.

Like I said....2.5 beers.  Anyhow, I as look forward and come up with some plans for 2015. (That works for me and keeps me going...making plans. I have no kids to serve as my motivation, so it's got to be something else).

In the last two days I've come across two people, two distinct people, who are, for now, serving as my motivation.

One is a guy I read about in the NY Times, who decided to go to every NY Knick game this season, home & away.  He lost his job and decided, fuck it, I'm following the team I care about. Seems silly, right?  But it's not.  It's passion and dedication and throwing caution to the wind.  All things I'm searching for in myself as I walk around with myeloma bubbling beneath the surface.  Here is a link to the story.  Kudos Dennis Doyle. Chase your dream!

Next up is Ricky Williams. Heisman Trophy winner from the University of Texas. NFL running back.  Fascinating character. I just watched a show called A Football Life on the NFL network (channel 212, for those of you with Directv (which by the way still doesn't carry the Pac 12 Network depriving me of UCLA basketball)). Ricky Williams was an atypical football player.  People didn't understand him. He's finding his way.  He gave a Tedx talk recently discussing his journey and finding purpose.  I suggest you watch them both. The Tedx alone is good, but the Football Life show puts it into context.

It's now 3.0 beers for me.  But this is all part of my myeloma journey and I feel it's pertinent to share.

Enjoy

A Football Life with Ricky Williams