Despite feeling better, I realized I sure better get my ducks in a row, in case I can't work. I've been a bit lax on that. I suppose part of it is that I always assumed I would kick this myeloma's ass, so why plan.The mother of one of Leslie's best friends passed away last week. The funeral was this past Monday. It was acutally a beautiful and touching service. The woman who passed away, who I knew, was this amazing positive and caring and giving person. It got me thinking about my mark in this world and how I'd be remembered. And here's more grappling. I think there are things for me to do. There are people and places that I need to connect or reconnect with. But it's tough, just juggling regular life stuff with my health, and I'm left unsure on how I can accomplish certains things. Time, energy, money all come in to play. Plus, and I'll use this word again, I'm not sure how I'm doing things is sustainable. I'm starting to feel pretty normal again but what if I feel bad? How many times can I pull myself back up? And, perhaps I'm being greedy, just having a routine isn't enough for me. So what, I'm in my routine? But I need to mix it up. Shake up the routine while maintaining normalcy. How's that happen? Heck if I know.
Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy with how I'm doing. 3 years and 2 months since diagnosis and I'm still thriving. I don't want to be caught off guard though, so I've got a bit more grappling to do with what happens going forward. I debated about even writing this post. It's pointless in a way, other than allowing me to vent, spill my thoughts. But myeloma wise, there really isn't much to say. That's a good thing.