Wednesday, February 19, 2014

And Now a Word from My Mom

Well, here's what's been happening. I'm on an off week from treatment. Next week, I start a new cycle of maintenance.  This Friday is my monthly Berenson visit, plus we're throwing in a kidney doctor visit. First kidney doctor visit in months. This past weekend, I did my monthly 24 hour urine collection and comprehensive myeloma blood work. Also this past weekend, my mom was in town, visiting me and Leslie.

As you know, I've been getting into making videos for my blog updates. So since my mom was here, I asked her (pestered her) to make a video update to give a mother's perspective on this thing we call myeloma.  My mom lives in northern California. I'm in southern California. I am the youngest of three kids. I'm 52, but still the baby.  My initial diagnosis of myeloma was pretty shocking to all. Scary, stressful, and all that. The first several months I wasn't in good shape and we were all grasping to find a treatment that works.

As time has gone by, I've gotten better and gotten in to a routine. I'm at 34 months and I think Leslie and I have a handle on what we need to do. We live it every day.  My mom did move down to Long Beach when I was diagnosed to be available to help. She got an apartment nearby.  But a couple of years ago, as I transitioned to maintenance, she moved back up to northern California. So really for the last year and a half, she hasn't seen me every day and only knows how I am doing either through this blog or when we talk or when she visits.  I'm not the best sharer though. Yes on this blog I'm open about my thoughts and my treatment. But when it comes to talking to my mom or other family members, I am a bit more tight lipped. Why, I don't know.

So when my mom did her video the other day, listening to her, it hit me that this is still fresh and painful and difficult.  She's my mom. I can only imagine how tough it is to see one of your own children be hit with a serious disease.   I was overcome with guilt and sadness and pride and love for my mom. Cancer/myeloma is tough. We all deal with things differently. I drew some sharp lines for what worked for me. My nature is when the going gets tough, I hunker down, silently and in many ways independently. 

But my mom is quite a person. Strong and honest and caring. I'm lucky to have her. I've watched her video a couple of times and each time I'm blown away by her emotion and honesty and her heartfelt talk. She took making the video seriously. Like I said, I deal with this every day. I can try and have fun with it. Yes I get down,  but I try to stay happy and positive.  And as I said, my mom doesn't see it every day. She might not be at the point I am at.

I asked her if it would be ok to post her video. She said yes. I've debated it for a couple of days.But I think it portrays a good strong loving person, who is grappling with myeloma. Give it a look. I'm pretty sure you'll all agree with me.

3 comments:

  1. Incredibly honest. Your mom is a strong, thoughtful and caring woman. Give her lots of hugs!

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  2. love this, thank you. from the heart as a wife and as a mother, I can relate to her words. Diane

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