Saturday, December 15, 2012

Get Your Head on Straight

I think I got it. Took me a few days. But my head is on straight. It's go time. Yesterday we saw a couple of old friends, Ramon & Lorelei. I've known them both since college. Go Bruins! Ramon is also our dentist. Curiously they never knew about the blog. So Ramon started reading it from the beginning and is keeping me updated with where he is at. I think he is up to August 2011. I went back and re-read some of my older posts last night. Wow, just wow. That was an intense and scary time. I'd forgotten about some of things we were doing. And I was reminded of how amazing Leslie was. She fricking too care of me, for sure.

Compare today, December 15, to August 2011, and it's a world of difference. I'm in such a better space, it truly is a blessing. 

Leslie volunteers with a non-profit here in Long Beach called Catalyst. This morning they had a couple of large shipping containers to move. Uncle Jan's buddy came with his truck and trailer and did the real work, but we helped a little bit. Doing this reminded me of ages ago when I worked for Jan. Such a young, dumb kid I was. Always in a rush and never slowing down to think things through.

It was so nice doing some outside work today and not sitting at a desk. I posted a couple of photos of Leslie at work.

Helping out today also showed me, myself, and I how well I am doing. I'm about normal and have energy and feel good and can do some physical stuff.  Compared to the old posts that I read last night, this is awesome. I'm not even in the same spectrum in terms of my health, then and now.

You put all this together and I'm good to go. I've been feeling overwhelmed and frustrated lately. Work especially has been getting to be too much. But I've been letting it be too much and letting it get to me. But now my head is on straight and when I return to work Monday, there's no messing around. It's work but that's all it is. Sure I want to do a good job but I' not going to let it impact how I feel or think. Compared to the past 19 months, dealing with work and work people and work politics ain't nothing. I'm on it.

So much of this thing called life is mental. How you process things, how you look forward, how you manage. When one looks at people and how they handle their lives, one can't help but be motivated and inspired but how people continue to move forward. Yesterday I caught a bit of J.R. Martinez on some daytime talk show. He's the Iraq vet who had his face disfigured by a bomb in Iraq. Since then, he won Dancing with the Stars and is now writing books, and is out motivating people, He said he was given a second chance at life and is going for it. I stood up and clapped, Those were the exact words I needed to hear. My head is on straight and I've regained control.

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