Tuesday, October 16, 2012

routine ho hum

Well, not much going on.  I haven't got my skeletal survey back yet. As I said, I don't have any bone pain, so everything ought to be ok.  I'm definitely curious, but I imagine when I go to Dr Phan next week I'll get those results.

Today I get a procrit shot. It's to help my blood count, which is kept low by the chemo and host of drugs I take.  I'm feeling pretty energetic, so I don't think I'm that low, but we'll get the shot anyhow. Last time I did blood work was a week and a half ago and I was low.

I'm pretty much working full time. Only time I miss work is when I have chemo or an appointment. I do my maintenance chemo  once every other week. I see Berenson once a month. I take a host of meds at home. I work out. It's all pretty much routine at this point. Which is a good thing for sure.

But this also brings me to the point of this post. Routine.  For quite a while there I was just happy to go to work, to walk the dog, to hang out with Leslie and friends.  All of that seemed great and such a welcome relief.  But as time goes by, I find myself falling into old habits. Bored with work, getting a bit unmotivated.  I find myself plotting, scheming, day dreaming about doing something else, about finally doing what I should be doing. But shockingly after all this, I still don't know what it is. Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy with how I am doing and super happy with my life.  Things are great.  But the mind is funny. Or maybe my mind is funny. I think too much about routines, I think too much about needing a passion.  I find it weird, I have this life altering experience, I'm a better person, happier person, more appreciative of everything and everyone around me.  But at times it is not enough. There needs to be more.  There are times I wish I could shut the old noggin down and just be.  But like I've said before, compared to where I was last year at this time......this is way better. Generally I'm at peace with myeloma.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Matt,

    I apologize for posting this on your blog, I just didn’t know how else to contact you. My name is Linda and I’m the production assistant for an online health community called ( ). I came across your blog while doing some research into the online Blood Cancer community. I was so impressed with the great resource you have created for the greater Blood Cancer community.

    Just wanted to drop you a quick note because we recently launched a new video platform called and are in the process of building a Blood Cancer Channel featuring the advice, information and wisdom of Health Activists like yourself. I think you would be an excellent addition to the channel and I would love to chat with you about possibly creating a video with us!

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    I know this note is a little out of the blue and I understand if it’s not something you would be interested in, but I didn’t want you to miss out on the opportunity.


    Production Assistant
    WEGO Health


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