Monday, October 1, 2012

nerve wracking week ahead

I'm still feeling real good. Worked out 3 days in a row, not tired, everything is great.  Nonetheless, it's nervous time this week.  Tomorrow I'm getting a skeletal survey and bone density test. Myeloma is funny...in some folks it manifests itself in the bones and people break bones. Often that's how the disease is discovered.  With others, including me, there is no bone involvement, but the kidneys are impacted.  Typically, from what I hear, how the diseases initially manifests itself remains constant. 

We did a full skeletal survey when I was first diagnosed (17 fricking months ago) and my bones all looked good.  And now that I'm doing well,  Dr Phan thinks we ought to do some thinks that we'd been putting off. So time for another skeletal survey.  I have no pain, other than an occasional achy back. But that's likely due to my age and having to lug around my fat.  But I'm still nervous about the test.  Finger crossed that all is well. I'm sure it is.

Friday is my monthly Berenson visit. Haven't seen my latest labs, and I'm sure everything is ok and we'll continue on the maintenance regimen.

But that's the thing about this here myeloma.  It's the unknown.  My brain doesn't like the unknown. It's such a gray area for me. Am I fine and can do whatever I want? Or do I need to still watch it and be careful with what I do.  I mean I'm slowly getting back to normal life.....working out, doing my own yard work, working full time, etc, etc.  But the myeloma looms.  I suppose the bi weekly chemo and everyday drug routine and continued doctor's appointments is the reason for that.  And I imagine that will always be the case.  But if that's the case for the next 30 years, I suppose everything is ok.

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