Thursday, September 27, 2012

brain dump

Today is my monthly major lab day, i.e. 24 hour  pee collection. It's pretty humbling bringing a cooler to work with my pee in it.  Sample questions from co-workers:  "what'd you bring us to eat' "Can I hae some" "why are you taking your lunch into the bathroom"  My standard response is "I don't think you want any of this"

Next week is Berenson, so this is in preparation for my monthly appointment with him. We usually have the results before we even see him, so I have a good idea of what he'll say.   It's hard to believe that I'm coming up on 17 months of dealing with this. Wow, just wow.  I feel good, and everyone says I look like I don't have cancer. So that's all good.  My perception of cancer has certainly changed. It's a powerful disease, changes everything in your life....but not at all how pictured it.  When first diagnosed I had vision of losing 40 pounds and throwing up every morning when I was walking Gracie.  That hasn't really happened.  I have become more aware of the health care and insurance crisis in this country.  So many people work and work and work, simply to maintain their insurance. It's a real balancing act between doing what's right for your healing versus doing what's needed to stay employed and insuranced. 

This whole thing has given me a confidence boost though. More comfortable in my own skin and more comfortable with telling the truth. My Libra tendencies to have everything balanced have kind of gone out the window.

Trying to put together a fund raising event that I can propose to the LA Chapter of the LLS, which focuses on all blood cancers.  I have a good idea brewing, but gotta work out some of the details before it's ready to be unveiled.

And that's about it, for this brain dump. There's more up in there, but I don't want to delve too deep....on a typical day, I try to tell myself to not think about it and to live a normal happy life.  But carrying pee around for 24 hours kind of forces the thought process.

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