Tuesday, February 14, 2012

F U creatinin

Remember back a few posts to 5.94? It was the first time in many many months that my creatinin fell below 6. It's a reflection of kidney function and a reflection of the cancer's impact on the kidneys. Clearly the cancer is getting better, but the creatinin is hovering in the low 6s. Our goal is to have that number down to 2 or 3. 5.94 was exciting because if we can get it down below 5, that means I'd be out of the kidney failure category and into the damaged category. A declining number also means my kidneys aren't permanently damaged. The kidney aspect of myeloma scares me more than the cancer. I do not want to do dialysis and I am really ready to eat some normal food.

I've been feeling great. Energy up, attitude positive. I haven't had that much to blog about. I was even thinking I might expand the topics to non cancer items. That's a reflection of how cancer doesn't dominate my thoughts. That's a good thing. For instance, did you know that Randy Moss says he wants to play next season. That's very exciting. He's one of favorite players ever and really made the Vikings exciting.

And that is why I say fuck you creatinin. I did my weekly blood work yesterday. Creatinin was 6.28. Not bad and way better than it was months ago. But it's not lower, and that fact gets into my head and pops my feeling good bubble. I like numbers but I don't like 6.28. Leslie reassured me it's no big deal that we're doing great. True. It's going to take some time to get kidneys working right, but we're headed in the right direction. I agree with that BUT I am fixated on the number not going down and that's a mood changer. Hate it.

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