Craziness. We thought I was going home today. And we thought I'd do more plasmapheresis (pp for now on; too long to type) as out patient. BUT, the hospital doesn't do pp as an outpatient thing. Instead I'd have to be readmitted into the hospital for a day. Stupid, right? SO since tomorrow is my next pp, it didn't make sense to leave today and then come back tomorrow. SO, I can go home tomorrow. BUT, my next pp is scheduled for Friday. SO, do I check out tomorrow or stay till Friday to make things easier? That is the question. If I can find somewhere that does do it as out patient, then I can be out of here tomorrow. Otherwise I feel pretty good, I've been up walking around and actually doing a fair amount of work.
The kidneys improved initially and now they have stabilized. Still not good though. The goal though was to stabilize them until I started the new chemo regimen. I've started the new regimen, so let's see improvement.
Here's the chemo drugs I now take: velcade, thalidomide and cytoxan. Plus, there are a whole bunch of other meds. Thalidomide is some powerful stuff. It knocks me out. Too bad they wake me up 4 or 5 times a night. Annoying, which is why I want out. It's anything but relaxing here. Motel 6 is more comfortable than a hospital. At least I have my own room.
My diet has changed again, my kidney doctor wants me to eat everything, except dairy products. And she wants me to eat lots of salty food and protein. This is totally opposite of the kidney diet that Leslie has been working on for 3 months (3 months? holy shit, this has been going on a while). WTF? I don't understand the change, but I'll take it. I had salt and pepper chips today. So good! My appetite is pretty darn good, I'm hungry most of the time. Now that I can eat just about whatever I want, I should be putting on some pounds. I might be one of the few chemo patients to get fat during treatment. Between my appetitee and steroids, don't be surprised if I become big, puffy, fat blob.
Got a plant and card from work folks today. That was awesome, really helped my mood. I've had a pretty bad attitude (baditude) for the past few days The hospital sucks, but having the crap attitude doesn't do anyone any good. So that card helped me turn it around. Thanks everyone.
And here's a little tip.....when I have a bad attitude or am seriously not happy, its unlikely that I'll update the blog. So if I go a few days without blogging, you can assume I am down. If I'm updating, then my attitude is good. So I'm good right now.
Another tip..... if I write about my anger or irritation, I'm actually doing ok. I use the ire as motivation.
And my final thought for today: I really need a passion or hobby. Something that I talk about and think about all the time. It needs to be one step away from an obsession. And it needs to be something that I talk about so much, that people walk away from me after a while cause they're sick of hearing about it. The question is: What is my passion? That's a tough one.
And my final final thought for today: I'm real excited for the new planet of the apes movie. I'd kind of like to do a planet of the apes marathon and then see the newest one. Might be a tough one to pull off (that's what she said). But when the new one is on dvd and I have fewer doctor appointments, I think I can do it.
Obsession: I've always thought that an all-consuming, not-that-interesting-unless-you-are-the-one-doing-it obsession is the pursuit of a television series from beginning to end. Maybe one that makes you laugh, but even better if you can sit and try to analyze it afterwards.
ReplyDeletePassion: The making of a food that you can have. If it was beer or wine that would be mainstream, and probably not in your diet, so maybe it's potato chips. You can become a conny-sewer of the potato chip. You could have multiple deep fryers in your place, maybe even convert a room in to the "BBQ Chip" room and tape it off to create an air of secrecy.
Hobby: maybe just dive in deep to the Dungeons and Dragons crowd.... that or WWF wrestling.
You always have the return of NFL football.... I would try to combine obsession, passion, and hobby all rolled into one by gambling heavily on the games, both sides and totals plus teasers. Then entering multiple fantasy leagues (some with friends, some with strangers, some free, some for money... different formats). Follow that with the office style football pools, picking against the spread, straight up, along with a few modified systems. Then create a blog or website to predict outcomes, thus creating even more pressure on yourself entering and exiting each game. I think with those factors combined you can have enough obsession, passion, and hobby to drive you right to straight jacket watching an episode of Martha Stewart baking ginger snaps on NBC at about 11:30 A.M. on a Sunday Morning as the casual fan merely enjoys the games.